


Helpful Love

by Ukume94



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angry Daryl, Carol POV, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Sad Carol, Sad Daryl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 01:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5608555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ukume94/pseuds/Ukume94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't have any rights to The Walking dead.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Helpful Love

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have any rights to The Walking dead.

He didn't give up on looking for Sophia, he took a bullet and an arrow in the process, he believed she was still out there surviving.   
He was wrong, when she walked out of the barn a part of my heart died.  
I really believed she was alive, I thought.   
How could I be so stupid?   
He held me in his arms for I don't know how long trying to comfort me.   
I was angry.   
I wanted to be with her but he held me.   
That should be me laying on the ground with a bullet hole in the brain.   
Sophia should be in his arms crying for me.   
My poor baby girl.   
No, that's wasn't my daughter.  
After he picked me up and still tried to comfort me by telling me not to look, I was angry.   
I pushed away from him. It wasn't his fault, he tried.   
I walked to the RV and stayed put till Daryl came to me.   
He didn't say a word, he sat on the counter and waited.   
He didn't say a word, his eyes said everything from I'm sorry, to I really tried and I'm here for you.   
Daryl and I have become closer since the quarry, I realized that I never wanted to live without this beautiful, kind, somewhat sweet redneck.   
I close my eyes so my tears don't come out.   
The only thing I never like to do is cry in front of Daryl.   
When I close my eyes I see her walking out of the barn.   
How could I get her walker formed face out of my head?   
She was so young, she didn't have a mean bone in her body, how could something this horrible happen to my little girl.   
Lori came in and told Daryl and I they were holding a funeral for her and the others.   
I couldn't go, I couldn't see something so real as my daughters grave.   
I decided to stay.  
"Why?" I said  
"Cause thats your little girl." He said.  
"That's not my little girl. It's some other thing. My Sophia was lost in the woods. All this time, I thought. But she didn't go hungry, she didn't cry herself to sleep, she didn't try to find her way back. Sophia died a long time ago."  
He was angry.   
I didn't have to look at him to tell, the sounds he made and how fast he got out of the RV as if it were on fire.   
They left me alone.   
After Andrea came in and told me he left camp.  
"He moved all his stuff, he didn't tell us why, he just decided he was leaving. If you really look you could see his fire on the far end of the field. Carol honey, I'm sorry. I'll give you your space." She left to take watch on the RV.   
He was angry with me, that's why he left.   
This was my fault.  
I got up from my seat and looked out the window to see what Andrea was talking about.   
He really did move far away.   
Dusk was in the air, the sun going down to give the sky the beautiful pink and orange. Earths water colors my mom used to call it.   
I sit in the same spot until this very moment.   
I can't get myself to move or think about anything else.  
Lori comes in with food.  
"I know you might not be hungry, but I need you to eat a little bit of something."  
"I heard Rick left with Glenn, they went looking for Hershel? What happened to Beth?"  
"We think she went into shock, Hershel left without anybody noticing and Rick took Glenn to find him, yes."  
"Do they know where he went?"  
"They have an idea he went to the bar in town."  
I let out an evil snicker. "Something so bad happens and makes you question your beliefs. I think I'm at that point."  
"Why wouldn't you be, you lost everything."  
Not everything.   
The other thing I want moved to Timbuktu.   
I need to talk to him. I think.  
"Carol, please put a little bit of food in your stomach. We don't need you getting sick too."  
"I'll try." I say beginning to pick at the pot-roast.  
Lori leaves again to give me some space.  
I nibble on the food, but my stomach seems to not agree with any of it.   
I push the plate away and walk to the little bathroom to try to contain myself.  
I need to talk to him.   
I walk out of the bathroom to the front door.   
Once I hit grass and dirty I squint to see the tiny fire dancing yards away.  
The sun has set and the moon shines bright over us.   
I begin to walk towards that fire.  
Once the fire becomes bigger I realize how far from our camp I am.   
The farm looking like a doll house Sophia once had, no I can't say her name it hurts to much.  
Once I reach his new camp I realize Daryl is nowhere to be found.   
I walk towards a tree with his squirrels he must have caught today and the geek ears on what seems to be a shoelace.  
"What are you doing?" His venomous voice fills my ears.   
I turn to see an angry Daryl. The Daryl I was afraid of at the quarry.  
"Keeping an eye on you." I answer quietly.   
His eyes full of anger and what seems to be hate.  
"Ain't you a peach!"  
His words don't really penetrate my feelings I know how to handle myself with angry men.  
"I'm not gonna let you pull away." He stares into my souls with hateful eyes. "You've earned your place" I finish.  
"If you spent half your time minding your daughters business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's she'd still be alive!" He comes face to face with me.   
His words stinging like fire.   
I just keep my mouth closed and realize he's right but I know he has more to say so I'm going to be the one he vents to.  
"Go ahead." I say.   
I used to say the same to Ed in the beginning, he used to finish with rude hurtful words but the last time he hit me.   
I didn't know if Daryl would do the same but if he did I was used to it, you can't break something that is already broken.  
Daryl gives me a questioning look then squints his eyes.  
"Go ahead and what?" He says his words filled with curiosity.   
He paces the ground like a lion.  
I don't answer I just wait.  
"Man just go, I don't want you here!" He shouts.  
My eyes remain on him. I will not show fear, I can't I have none with him.  
"You're a real piece of work lady." He says while walking closer and pointing in my face. "What you going to make this about my daddy and some crap like that?" He says with fire returning in his voice.  
"You don't know jack." He paces again this time his face gets closer to mine he points his finger once again. "You're afraid. You're afraid cause you're all alone. You got no husband, no daughter. You don't know what to do with yourself." He stares at me his face calm but still angry.  
"Hey, you ain't my problem. Sophia wasn't mine!" He shouts his eyes angry and voice full of venom.  
"All you had do was keep an eye in her!" He screams.   
His arm swings and my normal instinct is to flinch.   
I whimper a little before he hits me but the hit never comes.   
I open my eyes to see Daryl starring at me his anger and hate gone.   
His eyes squinting with shame and something else I can't put my finger on.   
I try to remain calm, he didn't hit me.   
That's all that counts.   
I look him from the ground up to see his stare never faltering.   
He backs away a little but he seems to become angry again.   
My eyes fill with tears but I swallow and try to remain calm.   
I take a deep breath and let it out with a shaky breath.   
He could've hit you but he didn't.   
I was right about him being a good man. He just has a bit of an anger problem.  
"You're right." I say quietly. "I screwed up, I'm a terrible mother."  
I back away feeling the unshed tears in my eyes threatening to spill out.   
Ed was right, he always told me I was worthless and not any good for anything.   
Daryl was right.   
They both were.   
I back away farther from his camp.   
Daryl's eyes on me the entire time. He takes a step forward towards me.  
I need to go, anywhere but here.   
His eyes on me feel like lasers going into my skin.   
My heart begins to beat faster then normal.   
I turn towards the farm and head to the RV.  
I turn my head to see Daryl following me.   
I stop in the middle of the field and turn to him anger boiling in my blood.  
"If you hate me so much then why are you following me?" I shout. Angry tears dripping from my eyes. "Just leave me alone, please." My anger subsiding leaving my grief in the open.  
He walks towards me opening his arms and grabs me.   
I try pushing him away, I try everything but when he hugs me I melt into his arms.   
My tears flowing freely now, my head in the center of his chest.  
"I'm sorry." He whispers. He lets out a shaky breath. "I tried, it's my fault."  
I pull my head away from his chest to look into his face.  
"You did everything you could, it's not your fault."  
"I should have ran after her when I saw her run off, I failed her. I failed you." His tears streaming down his face.  
"Stop, it's not your fault Daryl. None of it. You tried and I'm grateful. We were to late. Don't blame yourself for any of it. If anybody it was me. I failed as a mother, I failed at watching my daughter. I didn't do anything but cry and wait for you to bring her back, when I should have done something." I couldn't catch my breath, I began to hyperventilate my tears not stopping. "It sh...should h...have been m...me." I say through hiccups.  
"No don't say that, you made it because you're strong, your little girl wasn't made for how this world is. It's sad to say but it's true. You survived because you've been a surviver all along." He wipes away my tears with his thumbs.  
"Like you." I say quietly.   
I know he went through something either as a child or growing up.   
I saw his scars on his back back at the farm when he got hurt. He tried to cover himself but I saw before he realized I was in the room.   
That was the reason this beautiful man was the way he is. He survived something worse then me, I knew then that I loved him.  
He looks into my eyes and actually smiles.  
"Yeah, like the both of us."  
I smile back at him. His eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Holy crap, how can I look into this mans eyes without wanting to kiss him?  
"I'm sorry." He repeats in a hushed voice.  
For what? I think  
"I shouldn't have said all the things I said to you, I'm so angry with myself. I'm sorry I'm an idiot, a no good piece of shit! I-"  
"You were angry, you needed to vent to someone. Don't ever apologize for being who you are. And you are not any of those bad things you just called yourself. You are a good man with a beautiful heart."  
"How could you say any of those things after what I said."  
"Words don't make you who you are Daryl, your actions and your heart do."  
He gives me a smirk.   
I know this man is hurting just like me but I would always help somebody with their problems before mine.   
He was important to me.  
We could help each other, as we're doing now.  
I smile and lean in to kiss his cheek.  
Daryl smiles back and in that moment I knew.  
We were meant to help and love one another.


End file.
